Aug 2nd, 2014

Tbh all I want is a gentlemen who can pull off a suit and tie every now and then and let me strip him of his clothing and toss them somewhere while I lick him up and down. A guy that from that pile of clothing, picks up his tie, turns me around and chokes me with it. Yanks back hard, spanks my ass, grabs my face and asks me who I belong to. Yet knowing I can hardly speak, asks me again as I find it in me to scream that I’m his.

Yes. Please.

Jul 31st, 2014
I wrote this months ago, when I was with my ex.

I don’t think it’s understood that people can literally die of a broken heart.

That’s how I feel. Like I’m dying. Every time we disagree, every time we argue. Every time you call me a bitch like I’m not the woman who has done everything for you.. Every time I cry and you taunt me, in amusement, and tell me to shut up like I don’t mean shit to you. But I’m wrong. I must be shit to you. I must be trash. Unworthy of the love you once had for me, or lied about having. Maybe I was naïve and blind to the reality that has always been there. Maybe the person I’m missing doesn’t exist and this has always been who you are. Am I in love with a figment of my imagination? A version of you sealed away in the back of my mind that has died along with my sanity and joy? Perhaps I am. Because this. This thing that is forcing such a misery on me, this overpowering darkness, it can’t be love. This version of you, I hate it. With all of the passion in my heart, I hate you. Solely for not being the man you promised you’d be. You’ve been filthy, disloyal, unaffectionate, crude, disheartening, abusive, unloving and mostly, in no way deserving of me. No matter what you tell me, no matter how you make me seem, I know that I have been the best I could be to you. I’m proud of myself. For opening up my heart to love, and putting up with so much pain without completely losing grasp of the good person I know that I am. Despite everything you’ve done to me, I do thank you. For allowing me to feel so strongly for someone and experiencing such a becoming love for you. For giving me a daughter. My first, and probably my only.. She truly is my world. I look at her, and I find myself in tears because she is the beauty in all this disgrace. Though she is my everything and more, I feel like you shouldn’t have asked me for her. I feel like I shouldn’t have been so madly in love with you to say yes. In this I do take fault… I feel like we should not have had this precious little girl because as much as it pains me, I know we don’t deserve her. Our love isn’t good. On your part it’s obsessive, mean and controlling. And on mine it’s too deep, too gullible, too willing to allow you to hurt me. That is not an example I want to set. I want her to find a man who really loves her, and shows her that. Who has fun with her and does for her little things that will put such a glisten in her eyes, the stars will seem dim. Someone who takes care of her when she isn’t well, runs his fingers through her hair when she has a headache, and wraps her in his arms when she’s hurting. Everything I’ve ever wanted from you, I want her to have that. I don’t want her to feel incomplete and lonely when the person she loves is right next to her.. It’s the worst feeling in the world. And if I have to suffer with that feeling the rest of my life, I want her to know, every single day that she WILL have better. That her mom is not the person she should be, and that she has a value to her that’s unreachable. She’ll be wise, kind, understanding, and so many wonderful things that we are not. I’ll make sure of it. As of now, she is my only hope for true love and happiness. I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy. I’m sorry my overwhelming love for you hasn’t been enough to make you treat me as I should be. Most of all, I’m sorry I ever caught your attention. Because look at us now. In our early twenties and fucked up beyond measure. This was supposed to be fun and fulfilling. Yet it’s boring and ever so empty. Besides the passing of my grandmother, I have never been so sad and depressed in all of my life. I love you, in ways words couldn’t even begin to describe… But I’d rather you let me go and love you from a distance than be strung along by this awful monstrosity you believe is a normal relationship. I wish you could feel the way my heart aches when I even say your name, the way it pounds with a passionate rage when you’re near me. You just don’t understand… how much it hurts. The way my heart is broken. The way that I feel. You don’t understand. You never will…

I feel like I’m dying.
And you just don’t care.

Jul 30th, 2014
Jul 30th, 2014
"I want to take you by the hand, lock your fingers into mine and pull you close as our bodies sculpt into one another. I want to trace my fingers along the side of your cheek and with my eyes, undress your soul. I want my tongue to travel the roads of your skin and understand every crease and bend of your flawed perfection. I want to know the stories sealed inside of your scars. I want to know your pain. I want you to open up and allow yourself to be filled with my warmth. My love. I want to feel you, deep inside as I ride you slow. I want to watch you bite your lip and moan at the sight of me. Hands on my ass. I want to watch you cringe. Oh my God, I want to watch your eyes dilate. Your fucking dick soaked in my cum. I want you to watch me. Lick you up and down, sucking on you like we’re my favorite taste. And we are, baby. I want you to pick me up by my throat and pin me on the wall. Have your way with me. I want you to. I want you to kiss me and suck me. Spank me and fuck me. I want you to hurt me so good that I pound my fists and scream. I want you to grab my face, slide between my lips and cum. Watch me swallow. I want you to turn all of your rage into lustful energy and feed it to me. Give me your drug and intoxicate me with your passion. I want you to get me high off this love. Allow me to take you to parts of this world you thought nonexistent. When your thoughts consume you and you feel all alone, I want you to know that I want you. To be happy. To be fearless. To be all that you can dream of. I want you. And I want you to know, that you have me — I’m yours."
— Alisha Ortiz
Jul 25th, 2014
I gaze at you and kiss your lips. Knowing that you’re my eclipse. You dim my sun, you steal my light. You bite my neck, you grip me tight. Your tongue, it grazes up my thighs. You lick me slow, I watch your eyes. You stare at me, I squirm and moan. We’re fucking but I’m still alone. One sided love, I cry your name. You pound me rough, I fill with shame. I give you all and there I fall, into this pit as I submit. I climb on top and ride you good. Get on my knees as bad girls should. I suck your taste, I swirl my tongue. You choke me hard until you cum. I swallow deep. I feel so cheap. I sold my soul and not for much. For emptiness, the devil’s touch. Nightmares from a lustful sin, I tremble and you start to grin. Because you have me roped in chains. Struggling as I fight my pain. I’m drowning in the tears I’ve shed. You’re sipping on all that I’ve bled. And still I want you, eyes so wide. I know I’m sick, but fuck my pride. This is hell. That, I can tell. But I’m condemned, there is no mend — to this horror, there’s no end. I don’t know if I will survive. With all this heat, I’ll burn alive. But what a lovely way to go, you deep inside, my oo’s and oh’s. You whisper to me gorgeous lies. You love me. I’ll just my close eyes. Pretending that you really do, that in the morning I’ll see you. I know I won’t, and what a shame. That in this hell, I’m just a flame. 

— Alisha Ortiz.
Jul 23rd, 2014
May 28th, 2014
My two new favorite kinky bitches lmao. I don’t do color but when I do I think I do a good job. 😘❤️ #art #artist #draw #drawing #sketch #girl #popsicle #lollipop #pastels #tearsofatigress
May 28th, 2014
You can’t ever go wrong with girls and sweets lol 😜💗 #art
May 28th, 2014
Time to blend. ☺️💗 #art #artist #girl #lollipop #draw #drawing #stepbystep
May 28th, 2014
We’ll see how she turns out.. Lol #art #draw #drawing #girl #lollipop